“It’s my ball so I decide the rules”, “you were here last so you’re in goal first”, “whoever kicked it fetches it”. These are some of the phrases which for many people, including myself, can bring back nostalgic memories of childhood. Finishing a day at school with enough energy left to run around imitating the heroes I would watch on Match of the Day every week was my daily routine which as I get older seems unbelievable that I had that much energy to burn. But no matter if it was chucking it down with rain or if we only had one jumper and a stick for goalposts, kicking a ball around the playground/park aimlessly was how so much of my time was spent.

In this post, I will look back at some of my favourite ‘playground’ football games and what made them so enjoyable. I am aware that some of these games have different names and adaptations depending on where people are from, but like with the ‘breadcake/bread bun/bread roll’ debates, I’ll stand my ground and it will always be ‘Champs’ to me.

Enjoy.

Headers and Volleys

First up, it’s my absolute favourite adaptation on regular football, ‘Headers and Volleys’. This game arguably was the most technical and challenging of the lot, and often led to the most heated debates as to whether or not the ball bounced before being hit and if it came off one persons head last. The rules were straight forward, ‘you can only score with a header or a volley’, but for most kids in the park or in the playground, this limitation to scoring ability meant the game suddenly needed a lot more thought and skill.

This was a game we would often play with one goalkeeper and teams of 2/3 depending on how many people would show up. Having just 1 or 2 team-mates meant you had to rely on either their ability to put in a good cross for you to dive at with your head, or my preferred method (due to being smaller than most of the others) was for a teammate to chip the ball up to be hit on the volley. As I am no Kevin De Bruyne, my technique for volleying was quite literally hit-and-miss. On many occasions I can remember complete miskicks which meant a long trek to recover the ball, as one of the great commandments of football states “Thou who kicked the ball, must fetch the ball”.

As I idolised Paul Scholes, Xavi and Pirlo, I would often try and be the ‘provider’ for a teammate who was usually taller and more composed at finishing than myself. Picking out the perfect cross in or flicking the ball up for a teammate would leave the pair of you feeling like Xavi and Messi in the middle of a muddy English park.

Champs (Wembley, Wembley Doubles, Cuppies)

To find out where someone comes from, you could simply ask them what they call this game. I truly believe my town was the only one where the game was recognised as ‘Champs’, however no matter what the name, this game was the pinnacle of playground/park football.

The rules were that, either individually or as a team of two, everyone would try and score in one goal. Once you (or your pair) scored, you went through to the next round, like some sports based X-Factor. The last pair standing was eliminated, and then the game would continue, increasing by 1 goal needed each round. To ensure that nobody could act as a goal-hanger, no player was allowed to shoot in the 6-yard box, at risk of giving away “pens all round” for anybody found breaking the rule.

This game relies on being the most all-round player on the pitch, you need to be able to finish, tackle, chase every ball and link up with your teammate. It could be argued that a big game of champs could settle the final Ballon d’Or rankings, but that may be just asking too much of FIFA. Often the pairs would be done randomly to ensure fairness, but if you got paired up with your mate and struck up that quality partnership, you would become unbeatable.

Three and In

Despite the fun of diving around, attempting to make audacious saves even though most kids couldn’t even touch the crossbar, nobody ever seemed to want to play in-goal. The unwritten rules of the playground or park was that whoever got there last was first in goal. and whoever brought the ball could decide whenever they wanted to be the keeper. However, when playing three and in, the number 1 position was anybody’s, and trying to show off your skills came with the risk that you’d then have to spend the next 10 minutes aimlessly jumping around in goal.

The rules again were pretty much as expected, one person would start in goal, and the first outfield player to score 3 goals would switch with the keeper, and this would continue on until whoever brought the ball had to go in for their tea. Whoever was essentially the best player would often end up in goal, making this game the perfect leveller for everyone else. Unless of course, the most skilful player would realise that on a ‘technicality’, they could score 2 goals as easy as they like before sitting on those goals, and showboating without ever finishing their chances. As the person who was NOT the showboater, this was the point where a democratic vote was needed to either change the rules, or pick a different game to avoid further humiliation, and further nutmegs.

Like all of these games, there are adaptations to the rules for everyone who played, but the general format of three and in taught everyone that being the show-off on the pitch wasn’t always the best thing.

Wally

Wally was undoubtably the enemy of most parents. This game basically required a wall, which was often the side of whoever’s house had the biggest driveway space. Taking it in turns, each person had to kick the ball against the wall, but was only allowed one touch. You could try and let the ball slow down but that would mean your shot could be further away or at a ridiculous angle. Alternatively, you could attempt a tennis-esque up to the net approach and attempt some quick reaction shots. When the game became a little too straight forward, other restrictions would often be added such as weak foot shots only, or having to keep the ball bouncing and not allowing it to roll/stop.

The reason this became the enemy of many parents was surely the irritating repeated noise of the ball hitting the wall echoing through the house, mixed with the risk of a group of children taking pot shots at your house with little awareness of windows, drainpipes and various other ‘breakable’ targets. For those lucky enough to have had an actual concrete football pitch available to them, this aspect may be lost, but for the more ‘extreme’ wally players like myself, the risk was all part of the game.

Crossbar Challenge

There is something fantastic about hitting the crossbar. There is no real explanation as to why, in a game designed to score goals, hitting your shot against the framework, but not actually scoring is celebrated as much as it is. In a game situation, you shot may as well have gone out for a throw-in as the outcome is pretty much the same, but there’s just something about it. The buzz you get, feeling like you’ve got the accuracy of Scholes, technique of Pirlo and audacity and flair of Neymar is something anyone who has ever nocked the paint off of the goal-frame will understand.

So the crossbar challenge game was about as straight forward as playground/childhood football games get. Line the ball up on the penalty spot, or even further if you’ve got the guts, and either hit and hope, or take a delicate approach to chip the ball up towards the bar. As most parks in England have no actual net in the goal, taking the ‘hit and hope’ approach was only for those who could face chasing after the ball after you smashed it as hard as possible.

Check out the technique of the legendary Ronaldinho and then grab a ball and have a go yourself.