Over this period of lockdown, and having to spend months without live football, many of us turned to alternative forms of entertainment. One of these for myself was through the use of podcasts, which despite the ‘time-out’ of football, still continued on providing that craving of football content like an addict just wanting that little extra hit of the good stuff.

One of the main podcasts I have been listening to over recent years, and went back over during the initial lockdown period, is The Offensive. This comedy based football podcast has on many occasions got me smiling and laughing as I go about completing daily chores and working from home. It is filled with humour, drama and football references that even a casual football fan will revel in. It’ a podcast you can listen to on a commute (when you’re back to normality), plodding around the house, or staring out of the window wondering when this shit will all come to an end. Whatever your current situation, The Offensive podcast will bring 30 minutes of laughter, guaranteed.

Because I’ve enjoyed this podcast so much in the last year or so, and as I haven’t seen many other people discussing it, I wanted to take some time to write this post and properly recommend this to anyone who perhaps hasn’t heard of it before, or hasn’t perhaps considered turning off the TV and embracing podcasts as a ‘new’ form of entertainment. I will move on to give a fairly brief overview of the pod, picking out some of my highlights (without spoilers) and then wrap this up with a little review for anyone that’s interested.

I hope you enjoy, and please do give this one a listen. Officially, NextGoalWinner guaranteed goodness.

What’s It About…

In official terms, the podcast is labelled as… “A mockumentary podcast that follows fictional Premier League club Ashwood City FC.” I personally would describe the pod, as Match of the Day meets The Thick of It. It manages to achieve what so many have tried and failed to do surrounding football, and that is to make comedy content that makes you want to keep listening.

So, the podcast is essentially a comedy/drama mockumentary following the fictional Premier League side Ashwood City, who are located in Kent and are ‘one of the few sides never to have been relegated from the Premier League’. Despite being at the top for such a long time, the club haven’t had much more success than remaining in the top-flight. They are a club where the fans are loyal and vocal, particularly at club chief-executive Patrick Nolan, a man that fans love to hate…. or just simply hate. Alongside Patrick, is Malcom Tucker’s worst nightmare, Chris ‘Woody’ Woodall, the man with a football brain and a Scottish mouth/charm (no offence intended), Jess Tate who is the clubs’ career-saving PR boss, alongside Alex Morrison who can more than hold her own in a similar capacity. These are our main protagonists who create the scrapes and dilemma’s that the club must overcome, whilst also trying to win games and protect their impressive top-flight record.

With the podcast beginning in the 2018/2019 season, Ashwood have just been acquired by an American consortium led by Hutch Lewis. As part of this takeover, came the 5-year plan to make Ashwood a footballing force. This would involve recruitment of players, a change in playing style and updated facilities for the club, which pleased the fans and put Patrick Nolan’s nose slightly out of joint. This season is packed full of thrills, spills and humour as the club face a tricky season and we are introduced to several players, coaches and fans along the way. With the series running alongside the real world, there are often jokes, comments and references to the real footballing world which appeals to the real footballing craving, whilst the humour and situations mean you can listen with the more casual fan without alienation.

After the first season (no spoilers), we move into 2019/2020 and season 2 of the Offensive. This time, we have much more drama added into the mix as the club face a new challenge on the pitch whilst our off-field main characters have many, many issues they need to attend to. This series really builds up the tension and drama of the season, and deal perfectly with the real-world global pandemic (I bet they never thought that would have to be considered). The season does come to a rewarding and satisfying close, which even the best TV shows have been unable to do, with the podcast avoiding that dreaded entertainment second series.

Moving into the current season and 2020/2021, Ashwood are again in a new situation, and there is much for them to overcome. The 5-year plan has had it’s ups and downs but surprisingly remains in place. I can’t go too much into this series just yet, as I have a couple of episodes to delve into this week, and honestly, even though it may sound a bit task to start from the beginning, I would say you just should start from the beginning. the half-hour episodes can be ploughed through in a few days, and honestly listening to a podcast will make you much more productive. Without realising, I binged the first series and my flat never looked as tidy at the end, as I found myself ticking off daily chores whilst listening and plodding along.

Review

Overall, I think I’ve made it fairly clear I enjoy this podcast, and you’d be right in thinking that. It has the humour of British comedy’s such as The Thick of It and The Office whilst being genuinely appealing to a football fan. Not just patronising with the odd comment, this podcast hits the perfect balance of general funny moments, but even more laughs for a die-hard football fan.

The episodes fly by as you listen and you have the interesting story which blends perfectly with the humour. Just go and give it a listen, trust me. I can’t promise you’ll love it, but I do promise you’ll laugh, so that’s something.

I should also mention the fantastic songs thrown in on occasion, including a wonderful rendition of an R.EM. classic.

As far as I’m aware, the podcast is available pretty much wherever people listen to podcasts, so you don’t have any excuse to go and try it out.

Enjoy.